The Lesson of Letting Go: Why Real Grit Means Knowing When to Lean In

The Lesson of Letting Go: Why Real Grit Means Knowing When to Lean In

By: Shauna Sommer

In college, I took a class called Organizational Behavior. It was my senior year, right before graduation, and I was determined to ace this course. I poured myself into it—studying hard, taking meticulous notes, acing tests, and tackling each assignment with absolute dedication. By the time we reached our final project, I had a high A in the class, and I knew I’d earned it.

But this wasn’t just any final project. It was a group project. And for those of us who’ve ever been part of a group assignment, you know that it often means someone’s going to be pulling the extra weight. Unfortunately, that someone turned out to be me.

When "Teamwork" Means "One Person Does the Work"

The assignment was a deep dive into change management, and our group had a month and a half to put together a paper on a hypothetical company using the concepts we’d learned. At first, things were okay. We met regularly, communicated well, and divided tasks fairly. But as deadlines for other classes approached, my team members became… less committed. They had every excuse in the book: family demands, kids, final projects in other classes.

Meanwhile, I was holding down my responsibilities as a single parent, and I knew that if we didn’t deliver, the outcome would hurt all of us. As deadlines loomed, it became clear that my teammates were hoping I'd carry the team. Their drafts came in late, barely complete, and needed serious revisions. In the final days, I spent 11 hours in the computer lab (ah, 2001, the pre-laptop era), rewriting, formatting, and editing each section. I did it all, down to double-spacing every single sentence, even while juggling life as a single mom.

I was confident our paper would earn an A. But the morning after I submitted it, I felt an exhaustion that went beyond pulling an all-nighter—I’d carried this team on my back. Still, I hoped for the best.

The Highest Grade… and a Tough Lesson

When our professor returned our graded papers, she started with an announcement. She said one paper was the best she’d ever read in that class. It had flawless transitions, used the right concepts, and showed a consistent voice throughout. Of course, I thought, Is she talking about our paper? But then, she shared a twist: although the paper was exemplary, she had to deduct points because it didn’t follow her explicit instruction of having two spaces after every sentence. Two points deducted for every single place missing an extra space.

The result? What would’ve been a 95% became an 85%. My heart sank.

The rest of my team was thrilled; an 85% boosted most of their grades. But for me, who’d worked so hard, it felt like a slap in the face. I requested a meeting with my professor, determined to explain that I’d done almost everything myself, hoping she might reconsider the grade. What I received instead was one of the most valuable lessons of my life.

The Power of Letting Go and Teaming Up

In our meeting, I shared my frustration about the group's lack of effort. She listened, then asked me a simple question: "Did you ever communicate these issues to me?" I paused. She continued, “As a future leader, part of your job is to learn to communicate, delegate, and, sometimes, ask for help.” She taught me that assuming I could do it all alone wasn’t just hard; it was shortsighted. 

At the time, I didn’t fully grasp her words. But her message has echoed in my life ever since. You don’t achieve success alone, and every successful team, project, or business requires collaboration and communication. That day, I learned that strength doesn’t just come from grit; it also comes from humility—the humility to ask for help when we need it.

GRIT: God Really Is There… When We Let Him In

Years later, I see the deeper truth in her words. Her lesson on teamwork and trust wasn’t just about academia or business; it was a reminder that none of us are designed to go it alone. Often, we feel compelled to handle everything on our own, especially when others fail us. But when we lean into the idea that "God Really Is There"—when we let Him in alongside others—we create space for support, grace, and, ultimately, a better outcome.

By surrendering control, I learned that God works not just in us but through the people around us. And that "I can do it alone" mindset? It may seem empowering, but it often isolates us from the very help and lessons we need. Today, I carry this truth forward in Grit Girl, encouraging women to face challenges with grit but also to embrace the grace that comes when we lean into community and God’s presence in our lives.

So, here’s my invitation to you: in every challenge, remember GRIT—God Really Is There. Whether it's a tough project, a big life decision, or a time when someone else lets you down, look up, lean in, and trust that God’s hand, along with the support of others, can help you achieve something far greater than you ever could alone.